Written by a mischief-loving kerry blue terrier, Camelot
Submitted by Chelo Lewter
I want to send you this list of some of the things I must remember to be a good kerry blue terrier:
- I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or even eat their leftovers if they leave some.
- The diaper pan is not a cookie jar.
- The sofa is not a face towel; neither are mom and dad's laps.
- I will not roll over dead on seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
- I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty NOT food.
- My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
- When my mom is having lunch on the TV table in the den and goes to get a tea refill ... I will not steal her food.
- I must not uncover the casserole on the kitchen counter with my nose and help myself to whatever I can steal.
- I will not counter-surf or even investigate all the good smelling stuff that is on the kitchen counter.
- I will not stick my head in the garbage and think that the tossed out leftovers are for me.
- I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
- I will not drink water out of the toilet bowl.
- I do not suddenly need to stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
- I will not come in from the outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
- I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when there are visitors.
- I will not make a fuss in the car or be a nuisance.
- I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for mom's driver's license and registration.
- I will remember that the cat is not a squeaky toy ... so when I play with him and he makes that noise (which is usually not a good thing) I must remember my kerry manners.
- Above all, when the garbage collector comes, I must remember he is not stealing my stuff.