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The 12 Little Bottles


Submitted by John Van den Bergh,

I keep 12 bottles of Irish whiskey in my cellar, near my grooming table. My wife told me to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink "or else". So I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and emptied the good old booze down the sink, except one glass, which I devoured.

I then pulled the cork from the fourth sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank. I then pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. I then pulled the next cork from my throat and poured the sink down the bottle and drank the glass. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied I steadied the house with one hand and counted the bottles and corks and glasses with the other, which were 29. To be sure I counted them again when they came by and I had 74, and as the house came by, I counted them again. Finally I had all the houses and bottles and corks and glasses counted, except one house and one bottle, which I drank.

Then I counted my wives, but they disappeared.

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Today is July 16, 2019

In this month in 2003:

The first winner of the Foundation's annual "Fly Me Away" raffle was won by Liz and Clay, who flew to Europe for the Christmas holidays.

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