Here is a list of ways to tell if you have become a true Kerry lover.
1. After having spent half an hour explaining what you want for breakfast at the restaurant, hurrying to the Montgomery show, unloading all your dog paraphernalia, you find that your Kerries have eaten your breakfast-as well as the rear leather seat of your brand new Cadillac. You are sooo mad because you haven't got time to get another breakfast.
2. You decide to pull your Kerry from the show because the judge's outfit would clash with your dog if you were placed and had to have a picture taken.
3. You return the new pair of $3000.00 exotic leather boots you just bought because your Kerries don't seem to like the taste.
4. That beautiful antique Chippendale loveseat you searched for at the antique shops for the last 8 years has to be returned because your Kerries just can't seem to get comfortable.
5. Your lawyer assures you that the assault charges won't hold up when you get to court because no jury will convict you of defending your Kerry from the scandalous assault of being called an Australian Standard Black Poodle.
6. Your hairdresser doesn't understand why your hair looks like a dog's breakfast when your Kerry looks like a million dollars. (Roughly the same as the cost of keeping him/her looking that way.)
7. You decide not to accept your grandmother's gracious offer to give you her grandmothers' priceless, authentic Louis XIV coffee table because the brass feet may chip your Kerry's teeth during a chewing session.
8. Your furrier has the audacity to argue with you over the return of your new muskrat full length coat-the one with the sleeve torn half way off-because he doesn't understand that Kerries still retain all their varminting instincts.
9. You and your Kerry friends don't understand all the fuss at the dog show-people screaming, diving for their dogs etc-just because someone yelled those two magic words: KERRY LOOSE!!!
10. You still really miss your spouse, however they should never have given you the ultimatum, " Either the Kerry goes or I do!"
Paul and Valerie McCloskey
Riverview, N.B., Canada
11. You sleep on the couch in the living room, because that is where your Kerry prefers to sleep and you don't want her to feel alone, even though your orthopedic bed is better for your back.
(I recently placed a bitch and this is exactly what happened until I suggested they put a crate in the bedroom. Now the husband is back in his bed and the bitch is quite content sleeping in her crate. God love them.)
12. Your middle-aged Kerry bitch has developed that involuntary incontinence that spayed bitches are prone to. You have it under control with medicine from the veterinarian and have finessed the dosage to the minimum possible. However, now she's under the weather and the medicine is not holding. It's unthinkable to banish your sweet, cuddly girl to the floor or crate until the problem is under control again-it would hurt her feelings. So you put plastic and an extra mattress pad over the blankets, rig up an impromptu diaper, and continue letting her sleep on the bed with you.
Waterloo, ON Canada
13. A true Kerry lover always allows their Kerries to pick whatever cushion off the couch they wish, snuggling up on it on the floor, then once done, ripping it open to spew all the stuffing all over the room. This also applies to your favorite blanket or throw.
Cheryl A. Hoener
Los Angeles, California
14. Allowing your furry friend to join you in your relaxing bubble bath (of course forget relaxing now).
Nancy McMillan & Maggie,