Give Your Dog a Bone

After reading Dr Ian Billinghurst's book, "Give Your Dog a Bone", in which he advocates that sixty percent of a dog's diet should consist of meaty bones, I decided to implement the new dietary regime with Kasey my loyal and devoted Kerry Blue.

Let me tell you something Dr Billinghurst, you may know a lot about canine dietary requirements but you don't know much about Kasey's table manners.

Day One:

Kasey was prancing about eagerly and obviously expecting his usual meal of dried dog biscuits mixed with a slice of a proprietory dog food that looks like sausage or luncheon meat. To his surprise, I offered him a lovely, juicy, meaty kangaroo bone.

Kasey was definitely not impressed and after nosing it around for a few moments he looked up at me with a puzzled expression in his eyes. I continued making encouraging noises to get him started and when he eventually realised that his "real" food was not forthcoming, he began to reluctantly lick and nibble daintily at the flesh coated bone.

My wife then suggested that we leave him alone in the laundry and give him time to enjoy the new dietary treat. Quietly closing the door we crept away and left him to his task. About fifteen minutes later I was horrified to return and find the laundry looking like a badly managed abattoir! There seemed to be blood and flesh everywhere!

Kasey had been unable to properly attack the bone while it was in his food dish, so he had taken it out and pushed the bloody object all over the floor. Also, being an intelligent dog, he had realized that the bone would be much more stable if he placed it on top of a basket of newly washed and dried laundry! As well as the bloody mess he had created, Kasey's beard was now greasy, smelly and extremely unkempt.

Day Two:

Not wanting a repeat of day one, I took Kasey out onto the lawn in the back garden where I gave him his bone and left him to eat it. Of course, as soon as he was left alone he decided that he would rather eat it just outside the front door of the house where he could also bark at any passing dogs. When I went to check on his progress I found our front entrance covered in
bloody remnants and looking like a murder scene!

Well, at least he was eating the meaty bones. However, he needed his beard and paws washed and no matter how I tried, I just couldn't seem to remove the meat smell from his hair.

Day Three:

Beginning to have second thoughts about the new dietary regime, I reverted to the good old dried food formula. (So tidy and easy to manage) Kasey also seemed pleased to return to his old diet.

Day Four:

I planned to take Kasey in the car with me to visit some friends and after he had been thoroughly washed, blow dried and groomed, he looked "drop dead gorgeous".

I then went to attend to my own toiletries and left him free to roam the garden until I was ready to leave. Having showered shaved and dressed, I then went outside to the garage where I whistled for Kasey to come and jump into the car. Imagine my feelings when my previously handsome four legged friend turned up with the decaying remains of an old bone in his jaws and his coat radiating the sickly stench of rotten meat.

He had apparently secreted one of his partially eaten bones somewhere in the garden in order to let it "ripen" and chosen this moment to retrieve and eat it.

Needless to say, he stayed at home in "solitary confinement" until I returned and my friends did not have the pleasure of his company.

I'm sorry Dr Billinghurst, I did my best but I'm afraid meaty bones are no longer part of Kasey's diet.