The Kerry Pledge

Annonymous . Submitted by Judy Lamken, Kilkee Kerries & Saints.
Originally sent as the Scottie Pledge from Charla Hill which in turn became the Bedlington Pledge from Mike Saunders.

• I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
• Kitty box "crunchies" are not food.
• The computer's mouse is, unlike a real mouse, inedible.
• I will not play tug-o'-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet
• I will not eat any more socks and then re-deposit them in the backyard after processing.
• I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
• I will not chew crayons or pens, 'specially not the red ones so my people will think I am dying.
• I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
• I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her ear.
• I will not burn rubber through the open car window and into the fast food restaurant, no matter how good it smells.
• I will not throw up in the car.
• I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.
• When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
• I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
• I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet.
• I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
• The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
• We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
• I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
• My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
• I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
• The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

Last Update: 03/25/07, 12:30:24  Terms of Use and Disclaimer.