Alphabetical Guide to Whelping

A bit of humor for our visiting breeders (and wannabe breeders) provided by Jerrie Wolfe and Dave Wilson (jerrier@inreach.com)

A	Abnormal Birth	The only kind you hear of after you have your bitch in whelp.
B	Box for Whelping	Essential piece of equipment which is used at the onset of labor, but which is later left in order to produce the first pup on your bed.
C	Cardiac Arrest	Not common in whelping bitches, but often seen in owners around 62nd day of bitches gestation.
D	Dog	What you wish you had bought in the first place.
E	Euphemisms	For some reason adopted by breeders. e.g. "Puppies are thriving" means puppies have just eaten next months housekeeping budget in five days.
F	False Alarms	Games played by whelping bitches to keep owners on their toes.
G	Garden	What you had before your puppies.
H	Hand Rearing	Not recommended unless you have eight hands.
I	Imperfections	Your puppies of course, have none.
J	Joy	Despite other comments, puppies bring allot of it with them.
K	Kennel	That shed in the garden that used to stay empty until you stored tools in it.
L	Long Sleep Ins	What you don't have for a very long time.
M	Milk	You will need allot of it. Recommend developing friendship with someone in the trade.
N	Next Time	Next time you'll be more organized!
O	Old Clothes	The only kind you have after rearing puppies.
P	Pedigree	After writing out a five generation pedigree eight times,you will agree there is allot to be said for mongrels.
Q	Quota	Dictionary defines this word as "finite quantity". Visualize litter of eight - and then number nine arrives.
R	Refurnishing	Takes place after sorting out debris once the last puppy is gone.
S	Stress	Can be bought in cans. Can also be found accompanied by strain in owners.
T	Teeth	Teething puppies are an upholsters dream. See "R".
U	Useful Articles	Scissors, cotton, LARGE WHISKEY.
V	Vet	The chap whose phone number you learn by heart.
W	Weaning	Excellent method for getting the smallest amount of milk, food over the largest area of floors, walls etc. in the shortest time.
X	X-rayed	What your head should have been before you started all this.
Y	Yellow Fever	About the only disease you decide the puppies don't have when they sneeze the first time.
Z	Zigzag Zoom!	Puppies do it when you try to catch them to put them back in their kennel.

Last Update: 03/25/07, 12:22:22  Terms of Use and Disclaimer.